Ahem..

hunkelulsqio earurtuthunklulinungug!
i cusomume inun pupeacuse
tutakukmume tuto yuvourur luleaduderur

makes any sense?

it's time..

I think it is time to let go
I’ve held on to it for too long already
With every passing minute
It becomes tougher to let go
It’s time to move on
Life is waiting to be looked at differently
Ideas, notions, beliefs, perspectives
Are all yearning for a transformation
Immense change is on the cards
If there is one thing I hate…
It has to be change
Whether I like it or not
I think it is time to let go…

If men are from mars, let them stay there!

Please do not go by the title, I am not some man hating, aggressive feminist (though I have been called that quite a few times). I think I am more then justified to make that statement. For some odd reason, a telephonic conversation with a friend of mine (yes I really do need to stop wasting so much time on the blasted telephone) sparked off a series of memories which are in retrospect quite hilarious, but were quite traumatic when they occurred.

I have a few male friends, who are utter darlings and they always seem to be redeeming the male species in my eyes. Why does the male species need redemption in my eyes? This is probably due to a series of unconnected events over the past ten years, which has led me to think that some men are indeed from mars, and it would be much better for us all if they just remained there!

let us start in 1998, i was in the eighth standard, innocent, naive and of course terribly foolish! The msn of 98 was ICQ, and of course as usual the random weirdos did add you to their list. My stupidity was to send one such random weirdo (along with thirty others) a forward, which by some painful chance told the reader to send it to people they cared about. Apna ICQ hero, of course neglected the rest of the mail and focuses just on that sentence, I then get a longgggggg mail stating how glad he was that i finally admitted that i cared for him! As you can imagine, I spent the next year fretting and dealing with that situation rather badly, however that would be a separate blog post all together (will put the letter up, it was absolutely hilarious)!

Encounter with Martian number two, next year in a shady alley outside my school, scary looking half drunk boy (probably all of 15yrs old) comes up to me and asks me if i would make friendships with him (yes, this actually happened), i mumble something to the extent of my parents don’t approve and flee the dark alley! that was terribly handled situation number two!

As the years past, the creepiness got worse, the acquisition of a cell phone opened a whole new vista of creepiness! There was the one sms a day dude, i know that sounds harmless, and it was - everyday I got the same sms ":)" that’s it! of course to spice things up he also added the occasional " I saw you smiling the other day. keep smiling" messages. The advise was well taken, whenever I think of the message I cant help but smile (read: laugh my arse off)!

Then my personal favourite and by far the creepiest! i agree this was completely self inflicted and till this day I can’t believe my stupidity. Yes, those of you who know this - it is apna Rahul! The man who randomly dialled a number to make friends with a person , and of course he chanced upon my number (i mean the universe is out to get me!). after he told me this over the phone, i most obviously assumed it was some dumbass friend of mine who had nothing else to do! So i carried the joke on, little did i know that it was really a loser who randomly picks up chicks by dialling unknown numbers - Rahul plagued me for the next 4 months!

I could really ramble on, but this post has gotten too long and I really should get back to studying. So the next time I’m off on a tangent on why some men creep me out, please remember there is a reason for everything. So till my next tirade keep smiling :)

Happiness-Anger-Pain-Death-Freedom

Do not be fooled by the title, it may give the post an aura of being highly philosophical, deep and soaked with meaning – but is nothing of the sort – read on at your own risk…

The above probably doesn’t make any sense to you, does it now? Well, honestly it makes little sense to me too. Its one of those things which just pops into your head at 11:24pm and forces you to make a connection. The ramblings of an extremely bored mind is what I call it. A little tip to all those even more bored people reading this – ones mind is an extremely powerful tool. It is under no circumstances to be taken lightly. If you are enjoying a peaceful evening at home and whiling away time, it will spring into action and force you to ponder over something as meaningless as a random string of words. However much to my dismay, unlike a nagging parent, an irritable spouse or an annoying offspring- your mind can not be ignored. The only way to silence is to actually make sense of its nonsensical ramblings. So without further ado, let me put my mind at ease and unravel the mystery of these five rather stochastically chosen words.

Let us take a rational and scientific approach to decipher this mystery. Empirical findings prove that there is 98.56% probability that there is actually a method to the madness. Science breaks down the phrase into its basic elements and puts them under the microscope. In fact if you were to take the first letter of each word, you would get…HAPDF, which means absolutely nothing. Alright, maybe the rational approach to decipher my rather irrational mind wasn’t the best idea.

There is a high possibility that it is relating a story to me. That’s sounds far more plausible then my HAPDF theory. Maybe its warning me against getting a pet of some kind. Though the initial happiness maybe immense, it will only lead to anger and pain – and I shall only get freedom after death, its or mine – which ever comes first. That too is a bit unlikely since my mind has already made sure that I will never adopt an animal by creating all sorts of phobias against them.

Then the next one is probably a warning for future. I may need to use the bathroom urgently and as the pressure builds on my bladder coupled with the non-availability of finding adequate facilities – all happiness fades away. When I do spot an available facility, the anger comes rushing in as someone beats me to it. The pressure is now too much to bear; it forms stitches in my side and results in searing pain. The pain is so awful that the only way out seems to be death – just then I find a vacant cubicle…and freedom…

<>I see you didn’t enjoy my bathroom prediction. Fine, maybe my mind isn’t going to keep me busy with deciphering something as banal as regularising my bathroom habits. Maybe, there is something far more philosophical and deeper to it. Maybe they aren’t just any random five words. Perhaps, they contain the essence of life as I know it. If I embrace happiness and kill my feelings of pain and anger it will lead to spiritual freedom. Nah! My mind isn’t that prolific either…lets not give it too much credit.<>Now that I have exhausted all sensible theories (and the nonsensical ones too), I have narrowed it down to two possibilities, HAPDF and my mind wanted me to actually write this essay. Could it be? Was the ultimate aim this piece of writing? Is this the reason my mind conjured up those string of words? I do believe I have successfully unravelled the mystery. We can now all be at ease, the world has been averted from a disaster it wasn’t a secret encoded message for world domination from Martians. The sole purpose was to write this literary masterpiece…umm…on second thoughts I think I will go with the HAPDF theory….

Blogblogblogaaaaaah!!

I have recently stumbled upon the zion-like world of blogging. I am desperately trying to grasp the complexities which go hand in hand with this new discovery. I was staring at the ticker on blogger.com which tells you which sites were updated at that very minute (yes, I know, I don’t have much of a life), and I was positively shocked by the sheer number of blogs being updated. I mean there are millions of people just waiting to connect with each other! As you have already probably gathered compared to the rest of you i am indeed a bit of a blog retard (though I prefer to be referred to as blog challenged), I am yet to learn the proper blogging etiquette - does one necessarily reply back to all comments? is it rude to visit a blog and not comment? for now though, let us leave all these trivial yet perplexing issues aside for a moment - what i really need to know is whether fellow more experienced bloggers write for themselves, for other bloggers or basically people they already know...the questions however are infinite, till I get some answers I shall sit here and stare at the blogger.com ticker and maybe I will stumble upon a blog which answers all these queries (I’m sure there at least 42 blogs already existing)....gahhhhhhh!!

Ok then

Ok then.
The blog seems to have been getting progressively heavier.
The sarcasm and wit have apparently disappeared.
This cannot last for long.
I think its time for the humour to flow.

Water Anyone??

A month ago, in joke me and a friend of mine, started this theory that water would soon be sold in the black market. You would soon have people similar to drug peddlers, called water peddlers standing on the corners of run down alleys, trying to merge into the background. And everytime you pass, they would mutter to you under their breath, sau ka do (translation: two buckets of water for a hundred bucks). Kickbacks would be offered in the form of one hot water shower or ten litres of unadulterated drinking water. We spent the whole evening in splits, constructing this seemingly absurd theory. Now, the joke is literally on me. My building for some reason (the universe is out to get me) has suffered an acute water shortage. Buckets of water are actually being sold at obscenely high rates, tempers are flying, there are water brawls occurring every minute, hoarding of water is escalating the price and tempers even higher. It is a royal mess.

How is my dysfunctional family dealing with this? Well, one member has fled the scene while another is spending his time trying to map out the water pipe connections of the locality. High horsepower pumps are now the central topic of discussion. The washing machine lies silent, no food is being cooked, no vessels are being washed, plants are withering away. Soon, the water shall flow from the tap, the plants will be brought to life, the washing machine will be spinning out of control and I will be returning from Pune. Adios people!