So why start today?
Well, it has also been three years since I felt this trapped.
And it has been perhaps a lot more than three years since something has filled me with so much rage.
Skin searing, artery bursting, blackout causing rage.
This rage is trapped within me.
Straight jacketed by my own devices.
My entire being tingles as the rage tries to find its way out.
My head throbs and eyes burn each time this rage fails to escape.
Suddenly I smile.
Because I realise that I can actually feel it.
I can feel this emotion so strongly, even if it is rage.
I am not numb.
I am not disconnected.
I can still feel with the same intensity as before.
Somewhere within me is the person I was three years ago.
She can still feel and she she still wants to write.
And three years later, she finally writes.
The more she writes, the more the rage ebbs, the stronger I feel it.
The stronger I feel the urge to write.
And soon I shall.
3 comments:
wow...its nice to hear something so honest and heartfelt on your blog after years.
well said, to the last syllable.
ps: we really have to find a alternative to igg-ing defences.
YAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYY! You're writing again. I've checked your blog often since the last time you wrote - never saw anything new so I just figured you gave it up. :) It's good to see your style again.
<3 Good show.
Isn't it the best when you can write after you can't? and it's exactly as you pegged it.. the joy is because we can feel again after we couldn't. great piece!
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